When there is nothing to distract you, your mind is freed and memories thought forgotten return as clear as yesterday. Unbelievably, so many memories and ideas returned to me and I shared them in one of the many stories told as Leslie Edmiston and I walked through the countryside of France.
One of the electives offered in my Educational Leadership and School Administration Program was titled "Finding your Personal Voice in Professional Writing."
I had no idea what that title meant. . . And I still am not sure. It should have been titled "Finding Yourself" because, in a way, that's what these new school administrators were doing. Finding themselves in new roles that not only affected their professional lives but also impacted all their relationships.
A school administrator I love and appreciate even now in my retirement is Shawn Worstell. To me, Shawn represents an educator who has a heart so full of open space, that there is room to hold close all the teachers and students in her building. The school district placed Shawn in many administrative roles, but she found her way back to where she belongs, an elementary principal.
I took this misnamed class with Shawn. We car pooled. I wonder if she ever thinks about it now. Was it as pivotal in "finding herself" as an administrator as it was for me.?
Somewhere in this same time frame in my life, I read an article in a magazine published for early childhood educators. It was a different type of article than the technical reports or professional development materials I usually read. Across the top of the page there was an old map...written out in the ocean were the words "Beyond here, there be dragons". In times before the great explorers navigated the world no one knew what was out there beyond the horizon. It was uncharted territory full of mysterious sea creatures ready to devour anyone who dared enter their territory.
Reverend Jane Spahr, a Presbyterian minister and gay/lesbian rights activist speaking at a conference of educators. told the stories of Saint George and Saint Martha to illustrate the different ways we think about courage. She explained that Saint George slew the dragon because the dragon was bad, but Saint Martha tamed and befriended the dragon. She went on to say, “This is one of our feminist myths that has been lost. Courage could mean to slay the dragon. But could it also mean to tame our fears?”
I hope I can tie this together for you..
School administrators reach into unknown territory. Decisions are made at the district, building and individual level. Gut feeling decisions and common sense are sometimes released in the wind and the use of research and data drive many decisions. Yet does research really help with the struggling teacher or underachieving student. Do the scores and numbers tell the real story? We don't know what is or isn't in a child's mind. Is that mind not engaged because of an empty belly, a battered body, an aching ear, an unloved soul. That teacher, did she send her sick kid to school today because she had to work? Is her mother dying? Is her marriage falling apart: Is she,waiting for medical test results? Bravely, the administrator ventures out in attempt to chart those waters, the ones beyond PLCs, evidence based practices, data driven decisions.
"Children know instinctively who have slain their dragons and who have tamed their dragons". The article reads. (which is better I ask) They are drawn to adults like Shawn Worstell, who have room in their hearts for children. Children don't necessarily need adults who slay their dragons. They need adults who have named their dragons. Naming a dragon diminishes its power over you. And when it raises its ugly head to spit fire and steam, you gently call its name. It turns, and having been scolded walks away. We don't bury these dragons. We learn from them, and deal with them when they come around.
One of the readings during the class was about a woman who wandered a little bit into the Alaskan bush. She heard a noise, and immediately imagined a moose tearing after her. She turned and ran, not ever really knowing what it was. She didn't face her fear to identify it. She just ran.
To conclude the class, the instructor asked us to find a common theme in all our writings from the weekend. As Shawn drove us over the snowy Cabbage Hill pass, I reread my writing, circling words and ideas that seemed connected in some way.
Fear.
The common theme that ran in all my stories was fear. In my final paper, my dragon, fear, was changed to a moose, munching casually in the bush until I came along to disrupt its meal. When it raised its head to charge at me, I gently called his name, Bullwinkle" . His power over me greatly diminished. He became a cartoon character I can laugh at. Fear that once filled my heart was replaced by space. Space for children, love...courage...being brave enough to walk the Camino.
Leslie is walking to the end of the world as it was known in ancient times. From Finisterre and Muxia, she will gaze out in the ocean ....finisterre...the end of the earth. She will see dragons out there. Some she has already named. She has greatly diminished them. Others she lives with, yet to be named. Leslie, like Shawn Worstell, has room in her heart for children, her children and grand children, other people's kids. Her heart is open to puppies, horses and even a injured hedgehog.
Leslie will have walked 1000 miles on her journey to the end of the world. Each day when she starts out on the camino,she knows she has walked further than she has ever before. She will overcome pain, exhaustion, frustration and she will name those fears that suck up energy and cloud her big heart.
Children know instinctively who has room for them in their hearts. Instinctively, they also know who has slain their dragons, and who has named them.
Shawn Worstel
Leslie Edmiston
And do I dare add this name...
Carol Clupny
